Clint...i probably will never fully understand him.

A lot has happened since i found out i was...ya know.

After the "baby" thing.....Clint and i decided to call it quits i guess. The whole thing was just too crazy and overwhelming. We can't make this work. No matter how hard i try something is always going to be more important to him...We arent talking at all. He's tryin to make a point to me i guess. People call me crazy for staying with him after everything he's done to me. But i guess it's hard for me to come to terms that he's just not right in the head. All he cares about is himself and his friends. He finally believed me about everything but i mean was everything i really did really the way to go? It would've been a lot easier if he had just listened then i wouldnt have had to go crazy white girl on him. I had even tried getting him to talk by literally stalking him!! I mean i couldnt have done that alone...i couldnt raise a baby by myself without a dad...I mean i could but i didnt want that. Maybe he was just freaked and scared. And my hormones were just acting up. I was trying everything i could to get him to actually listen to me. All he had to do was listen then everything wouldve been over. I didnt know whether or not to keep it or get rid of it. But i also know that i couldnt get rid of it...even if i wanted to. It's not who i am. We both fucked up, we needed to take control of it. I told Miranda and Shanah about everything and they were just shocked...I mean how was i gonna be able to dance or anything? They helped me a lot by trying to convince Clint to talk to me. I was so desperate to get answers from him that i even went to his mom's house. I told his mom everything...and she seemed to understand. Although i think she was a little freaked out also. But i think she talked to Clint and that got him to come to his senses and communicate with me. I spent so much time and stress for a month trying to get Clint to help and talk to me...that i miscarriaged...and it was horrible. I had to leave Bandos in the morning early and make up an excuse about why i was hurt. I was in the worst pain ever. And it's something i probably will never be able to get over. Miranda's mom took me to the hospital and claimed me as her own. Since i hadnt told my parents yet. I would probably be disowned if they knew about it. Plus why would i want to prove my sisters right....all my life they were the ones that said i was gonna get pregnant and shit. And even though i tried not to it still happened. But ill tell ya it wont happen again. I'm never trusting a guy again. They never understand and they only think about themselves. This wont happen again. It wont.