I'm pretty sure i remember a conversation i had with you a few days ago. About how you tell people straight up what you think about them. And that if they're in the wrong, you tell them. This isn't me being mean, or bashing you. Yeah i'm upset and a little pissed off. But i'm gonna be honest with you. It doesn't matter to me what you think is right. Because all in all, at the end of the day. You can still close the door. Since you probably won't be able to leave, and do nothing. And just waste life being miserable. Yeah you spent money you didn't have, so have i. But you distance yourself and we're always gonna be different. The one night you needed me, was the one night i couldn't understand. I couldn't understand anything you were saying because i didn't even know what i was doing. If i was acting normal and okay and not intoxicated. Then yes, everything would've been fine. I would've been there for you. But damn, people fuck up when they're drunk. It's always been that way. You act like moving to my sisters was gonna make you feel wanted. Well that's not how it works. I don't even feel wanted. I live with myself. I cope with myself. I do everything by myself because i can't deal with anyone in my family. Which is why i don't talk to my dad, i don't talk to my mom, Sarah and i aren't talking, i haven't talked to my cousins in years. And this is why i don't have real friends. Because no one is real anymore. I'm not going to beg you to live with me, because it's clear you'd rather be alone. I had always felt sorry for you when you lived with your parents. No you didn't ask me to, but i believe it or not i do have a little bit of a heart. Regardless of what you've said. They aren't normal, and maybe they've turned you into who you are today. But i felt bad for you. And always felt guilty because i got out of my house and you were trapped in yours. You might not see everything i have done for you, and that's only because i didn't show it. You were miserable at your house, i practically begged Michelle to let you move in because she was so unsure about it. A chance to live a fucking normal life, without having to come home to a drunk, or a crack head. To have freedom, yeah it may not have been much more than what you had, but it was freedom. And no you didn't ask me to do it. But i did. Because you seemed like you needed a way out. So regardless of what you think about me. I'm not as horrible as i seem. And doing all of that, i didn't complain, because you had helped me before and i felt like i need to repay you. So at this point it doesn't matter if you go home, or are home, or about to go home. I'm not begging you to stay, because i feel like regret will take hold of you soon enough. You can only be tortured so much until you break, and you weren't tortured here. So have a good one, i hope you and Erick figure things out. Blah blah blah. and yeah. You can go live your life and i'll live mine. 
Monday, September 26, 2011
andddd yeah.
I'm pretty sure i remember a conversation i had with you a few days ago. About how you tell people straight up what you think about them. And that if they're in the wrong, you tell them. This isn't me being mean, or bashing you. Yeah i'm upset and a little pissed off. But i'm gonna be honest with you. It doesn't matter to me what you think is right. Because all in all, at the end of the day. You can still close the door. Since you probably won't be able to leave, and do nothing. And just waste life being miserable. Yeah you spent money you didn't have, so have i. But you distance yourself and we're always gonna be different. The one night you needed me, was the one night i couldn't understand. I couldn't understand anything you were saying because i didn't even know what i was doing. If i was acting normal and okay and not intoxicated. Then yes, everything would've been fine. I would've been there for you. But damn, people fuck up when they're drunk. It's always been that way. You act like moving to my sisters was gonna make you feel wanted. Well that's not how it works. I don't even feel wanted. I live with myself. I cope with myself. I do everything by myself because i can't deal with anyone in my family. Which is why i don't talk to my dad, i don't talk to my mom, Sarah and i aren't talking, i haven't talked to my cousins in years. And this is why i don't have real friends. Because no one is real anymore. I'm not going to beg you to live with me, because it's clear you'd rather be alone. I had always felt sorry for you when you lived with your parents. No you didn't ask me to, but i believe it or not i do have a little bit of a heart. Regardless of what you've said. They aren't normal, and maybe they've turned you into who you are today. But i felt bad for you. And always felt guilty because i got out of my house and you were trapped in yours. You might not see everything i have done for you, and that's only because i didn't show it. You were miserable at your house, i practically begged Michelle to let you move in because she was so unsure about it. A chance to live a fucking normal life, without having to come home to a drunk, or a crack head. To have freedom, yeah it may not have been much more than what you had, but it was freedom. And no you didn't ask me to do it. But i did. Because you seemed like you needed a way out. So regardless of what you think about me. I'm not as horrible as i seem. And doing all of that, i didn't complain, because you had helped me before and i felt like i need to repay you. So at this point it doesn't matter if you go home, or are home, or about to go home. I'm not begging you to stay, because i feel like regret will take hold of you soon enough. You can only be tortured so much until you break, and you weren't tortured here. So have a good one, i hope you and Erick figure things out. Blah blah blah. and yeah. You can go live your life and i'll live mine. 
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